The Future of Love

One of the most basic aspects of “growing up” is being able to be motivated more by love than by fear.  A life more and more based on love and not on fear is not without pain.  I think fear keeps us in “stuck pain” and love motivates us to experience “growing pain” when that is necessary. 

The Past of love, that for which we as mammals are hard-wired, is attachment love.  It is the love of parents for children that has enabled the human race to survive. 

The Present of love is most easily seen in the love between healthy, happy couples.  This is the adult form of attachment love.  At its best, it provides a secure base and safe haven for partners as well as for their children.  However, this love can only be achieved from an adult state.  When we operate from an Adapted Child state, we cannot be a safe haven for others.

The Future of love is in community, a sense of caring about “all of us”.  It includes the lessons learned from successful couple love and transcends the limitations of couple love.  It means extending love beyond the boundaries of couplehood while respecting these boundaries as well.